The internet has hashtagged everything goals. When a couple wears matching outfits or take a nice shot – #couplegoals, when two girls (or boys) go on an outing and smile wide with their arms around each other – #bestiegoals, we see siblings throw their arms in the air – #siblinggoals, and so on. We all want to be goals. Honestly, I have no idea how to define goals, but I’d say that just as it is in sports, goals are what we all aim for. When an athlete is on the field, all he/she wants to do is score a goal. He wants something.
How does this relate to #couplegoals and the rest of them? I don’t know about you, but whenever I see a ‘goal’ picture, I save it while thinking, “Hmm, I will take a picture like this with my sister”…or whomever. I never actually think “Hmm, I want to have this kind of relationship with my sister”…or whomever. We are in an image-obsessed age and we most times neglect our real-life relationships. All we focus on is what we want others to see.
While having a social media image is not bad, the only image that counts is what you and the people who are closest to you think about you. That is, behind the cameras, Photoshop, nice clothes and makeup, expensive vacations, etc. who are you? And what are your relationships like? (Relationships in this article, except stated otherwise are all forms of relationships, not just romantic ones).
The problem is that, when we see a goal picture, we don’t think of the actual goals, we think of the social media image goals.
How to know you have Relationship Goals
1) Mutual Respect: No relationship thrives without respect. When one party starts feeling disrespected, friction starts and becomes more noticeable. To be respectful of someone is to hold that person in high regard or consideration. It means to not belittle the person. It means to treat the person like how you would like to be treated. Respect is reciprocal and when someone starts feeling disrespected, he/she may find it difficult to remain respectful.
2) Supportive of Each Other: Everyone needs support. It doesn’t matter how big, dark and brooding someone is, he or she still needs a support system and the best thing is that a support system can be only one person. Be supportive of each other’s dreams. Your boss has dreams for the job, your kids, siblings, friends, spouse and even your parents too have dreams; everyone has dreams that are yet to be fulfilled. You are to support and help them achieve those dreams.
Also read: Toxic Relationships.
3) Good Communication: You know that you are #relationshipgoals when both of you know and speak each other’s language. Yes! It’s not enough to know. You have to act on it. I recommend that you read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. According to Gary, people speak different languages: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, Physical Touch, and you should try to know them to effectively communicate with them. Of course, you can’t go ahead to hug or peck your boss…LOL. So you have to be careful and know how to carefully apply these.
4) Have Fun Together: Having fun is important. Like, we can’t be serious every time. What’s your fun level with your partner? Do you enjoy being around him or her? You can define fun in whatever way you want, but have it at the back of your mind that having fun is a very important bonding time for your relationships. Do you have fun working with your colleagues? Or while cleaning dishes with your sibling? Or laughing loudly on the streets with your friends? Whatever your definition of fun is, just have fun! And for a boss-employee relationship, you can always have fun while working. Your work should be fun enough in the workplace. Amen to that.
Also Read: 10 Characteristics of A Good Friend.
5) Forgiveness: Your ability to forgive will always come in handy in any relationship. Have you noticed that it’s the people closest to you that hurt you the most? People will always make mistakes and therefore, will always need forgiveness. Be ready to forgive and move on. In severe cases of hurt, where you can’t find it in your heart to forgive, then part ways. You will survive.
6) Prayer: The power of prayer can’t be overemphasized. You see, everyone – including the non-religious, needs prayer. Pray for your boss, for your sibling, family, friends, spouse, etc. Pray for their dreams to be fulfilled, for your relationship to get better and stronger and for whatever reason. Just pray. There are problems you will face in relationships, especially romantic ones that only prayer can solve. So, pray.